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EMOTIONAL EDUCATION
by
Karen
Jordan- Nicholls
Systemic Psychology
We
need
Emotional
Education
to
understand
the
impact
of
unresolved
negative
emotions on
our
life. When
people
acquire emotional
education
skills,
tools
and knowledge
about unresolved
negative
emotions
they
will have
access
to spiritual,
physical and
emotional
optimal
health and
well-being.
Emotional Education
is the
term we use to
describe
the learning
process
which encompasses
emotional
literacy and emotional
intelligence. An
emotion
is
a
mental and
physiological
state
associated with a
wide
variety of
feelings,
thoughts, and behaviour.
Emotions
are
subjective
experiences, or experienced
from
an individual point of
view. Emotion
is
often
associated with mood,
temperament,
personality,
and
disposition. The
English word
'emotion'
is
derived
from
the
French
word émouvoir.
This is
based
on
the
Latin
emovere, where
e-
(variant
of
ex-)
means
'out'
and
movere
means 'move'.
The
related
term
"motivation"
is
also derived
from movere.”
(Wikipedia)
Unresolved
Negative
Emotions
|
To acquire
optimal
health
and
well being,
negative
emotions
must
be resolved.
Unresolved
negative
emotions
come
about
when
conflicts
with
another
person,
or
a
situation
from
our
past,
have
not
been
resolved
or
released.
The
body
holds
on
to
the
life
force
energy
(emotional
charge)
created
at
the
time
the
conflict
took
place.
The
unresolved
negative
emotion creates an imbalance
in
our
hormones.
As
a
result
the
body
becomes
toxic.
The
toxicity
in
the
body
depletes
our
immune system.
The
immune
system
is
the body’s defence
against
infectious
organisms
and
other
invaders.
It
is
our
defender
and
fighter
protecting
our
body
from
the
common
cold
to
cancer. It
is
the
job
of
the
immune system
to regulate
our
hormones
to
rid
our
body
of
toxicity.
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When
we have
unresolved
negative emotions
the
immune system
is in constant battle attempting
to
restore our
optimal
health and
well-being.
This
battle
reduces the
capabilities
of
the immune
system and reduces our
defence mechanism
leaving us
susceptible
to dis-ease.
Conflict is
the
root
cause of
all
unresolved negative
emotions.
Many people
have unresolved
negative
emotions but
are
totally
unaware of
this
fact. I
have yet
to meet
a
person who
does
not have
an unresolved
negative
emotion.
“It
is
estimated
that 90
percent
of all physical problems
have
psychological
roots”
Prevention
Health
Magazine,
Emrika Padum
“Only those
who yield
control
of
their minds to God can
in the
full
sense of
the
word
have
a sound mind
and enjoy
true
and
complete
mental
and
emotional stability”.
The SDA Commentary
Vol.5,
Pg575
"You
shall
love
the
Lord
your
God
with
all your
heart, and
with
all
your soul,
and with all you
strength, and
with
all your
mind;
and your
neighbour
as
yourself"
(Luke 10:27)
We
are
instructed
to commit
our
whole
self to
God and
humankind
in
love
by embracing
God’s commandments and the
fruits
of the
spirit.
When
we live
in
harmony with
body,
mind and
spirit,
we encompass
the peace
of mind
that surpasses
all
understanding
and are
able to
love
and be
loved as
we were
created
to be.
We
must
focus our
minds on
the things
of the
Spirit
and have
thoughts
and
desires
governed solely by God.
When
we
hold on
to
conflicts of
the past that
evolve
from fear, anger,
loneliness, sadness and
anxiety, we become disconnected
from
God
and
we no
longer
retain the
holistic
balance
of
life required
by a human being
to
have optimal
health
and
abundant living.
More
often
than not
we
believe that
we have
dealt
with the
conflict
and we
tell
ourselves that
we will
forget
about it
or we
say to
ourselves “I
will forgive
but I
will never
forget”.
Both
of these
actions
impact negatively
on our emotional well-being
and
optimal
health because the person
you
are hurting
is
yourself. We
fool
ourselves
because the
negative
emotion
remains buried
within
us and
comes
alive when
we
least
expect, in
the
form of
anger,
fear,
jealously,
anxiety and
many, many
more
negative
self destructive
behaviours which eat
away at
our
very
soul. Furthermore
the
truth of
the
matter is that
feelings
buried alive NEVER
die.
They need
to be
resolved and
released.
As
a
Magistrate
I
often have
the
same defendant
come
before me,
(who is
known
as a
persistent youth offender, (PYO)). This
PYO
has been
convicted
for
committing
a long
list of
offences,
the
majority of
which are
of a
similar
nature.
Furthermore,
there
are mums,
dads,
brothers,
sisters,
uncles, all
from
the same
family
who also
persistently offend. What
we see
are
patterns of
negative
behaviour being passed
down
from adult
to
child. My
hypothesis
is that
a major
contributing
factor
to this self
and
family-destruction is that the
conflict,
which
created
the unresolved
negative emotion
that
triggers the
negative
and
offending
behaviour, has
never been resolved.
Commentators
have
said
that
what
was once
speculation
has now
been firmly established as
fact. A
healthy
body
cannot be
divorced
from a
healthy mind or
a
healthy
spirit.
“
Emotional
health,
it can
be
said with
certainty,
is an
integral
part
of our
overall wellness. Yet
many people continue
to neglect
their
emotional
health
and
damage
their
physical health
in the
process”.
E.G.White,
Ministry
of
Healing.
The
relationship
between
stress and
disease
is
clearly
taught
in the
Bible. This relationship
has
been substantiated by medical
science.
British
cardiologist
Peter
Nixon,
explains
that
increased
stress and
arousal
cause numerous
changes
in the
body
functioning,
that eventually interfere
with
immune
function,
protein
synthesis
and
cardiac
functions. Repetitive
stress
also uses
up the
body’s
reserves,
leading to
increased
stress
on other
physiological functions.
This in
turn
can result
in heart disease,
cancer
or depressions.
Stress and Unresolved
Negative
Emotions
Stress
caused
by unresolved
emotions
is a
pre-requisite
and
a
leading
contributor
to dis-ease.
When
the
stressful
situation
remains
unresolved it
can
have a
negative
impact on
your
behaviour and
your health.
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Stress
is
destructive:-
• when
its
intensity or duration
exceeds
a
person’s
capacity
to
react
constructively.
•
Any
power,
force or experience
that
touches
our
lives physically,
mentally,
or spiritually, against
which
we
must
react
in
order
to maintain balance
in
our
lives
is
STRESS.
The
condition
of
the
mind
affects
the
health
to
a
far
greater
degree
than
many
realize.
Many
of the diseases
from
which
men
suffer
are the result of mental
depression.
E.G.
White
Ministry
of
Healing,
Pg
241.
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Toxic Unresolved Negative
Emotions
Certain emotions
poison
the body.
Dr.
Cannon, of
Harvard
University,
has
shown that
hate,
envy,
scorn, jealousy, and fear
actually create poisons, not psychological poisons,
but
powerful
toxic
substances,
which poison
the
life stream
- the
blood,
and under
their
influence,
the
body weakens
and all
the life
processes
are
disturbed. A
person,
who lives
under
fear, or
under
the shadow
of any
depressing
emotion,
seems to
shrivel
up. He
grows
old
prematurely. He further
added
Worry kills
a
hundred
people
where
work
kills
one!
Unresolved negative emotions
contribute to an
imbalance
in our hormones which
create
toxicity
in our body. This
toxicity
causes
our immune
system
to
become depleted.
Hormones
stimulate
and
increase activity,
while
colyones
impede
and reduce
activity. Both substances are necessary
for a
well-balanced mind
and
body.
Dr.
Christiane
Northrup
coined
the term
“toxic
emotion”.
In
Women's
Bodies,
Women’s
Wisdom
(Bantam, 1994),
she
writes, “A
thought
held
long enough
and
repeated
often enough
becomes
a belief.”
That
belief
then becomes
a biology in
which
emotional
stress
causes our
adrenal
glands to
produce
corticosteroids
-
hormones that
weaken
our immune
systems.
“Grief,
anxiety,
discontent,
remorse,
guilt,
and distrust
all
tend to
break
down the
life
forces
and
invite decay
and
death. Courage, hope, faith,
sympathy, and love
promote
health and
prolong
life. A
contented mind,
a cheerful spirit,
is health
to the
body and strength
to the
soul"
E
G
White
Ministry
of
Healing
(Pg 97).
There
are times
that we
may
feel upset
and
angry and
not know
why, we
feel
like a
task is
easy one
day and
difficult
the next, we
feel
that no
one understands
us and
we don’t
understand ourselves
or we
may
suffer
from
insomnia
for
nights at
a time. If
this is
true
for you
– you
may
have an
unresolved negative emotion.
“The
relationship that
exists
between
the mind and
body is
very
intimate.
When
one
is affected
the other sympathizes.”
E.
G. White,
Ministry
of
Healing
(Pg
241)
Although many
people
put a
great
emphasis on
the
body, the
mind
is of
equal
and I
say
more importance
than the body
as
before the
body
acts
it
requires
communication from the
mind.
When
Adam
and Eve
chose to
eat
from the
tree
of
knowledge of
good and evil
they
thought about
it
first. Eve
thought
about how
good
it would
be to
become
wise then
she
proceeded
to act.
When
God
inquired
as to
Adam’s whereabouts,
he
attempted to
hide from God.
Adam
was
frightened
because he
felt
guilty.
He
then proceeded
to
accuse Eve
of
giving him
the
fruit.
Eve
then
accused
the
serpent. The
fear and
guilt
that Adam
felt
was the
first
conflict to
be
experienced by man
as a
result
of an
unresolved
negative
emotion
but
the second to
be described
in the
Bible.
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Conflict,
the
Root of
ALL Unresolved
Negative
Emotions
“Lucifer
was
the
first
to
experience
an
unresolved
negative
emotion.
When
discontent
entered
his heart he
sought
to
instigate
conflict
in
Heaven
when
he envied
God’s
position,
challenged
His
authority and tried
to
turn
the
angels against God.”
The
Bible
says
“There
was
War in Heaven”
(Revelations
12:7).
War
is
the
result
of
conflict.
Today
we
see
evidence
of
conflict
and
wars
existing
here
on earth. We
see
global
war,
civil
war,
the
internal war that man
has
with
himself
because
of his inability
to
identify,
resolve
and
release
the conflict
and
the
external
war
that
man
experiences
as
he
projects
on
to
others
the
unresolved
anger,
fear
and
resentment that festers
within
him as
a
result
of
Satan’s
unresolved
negative
emotion
and
the conflict
he
created.
|
Lucifer
was the
most powerful
of the
fallen
angels
but he
opposed
God. God
gave
Lucifer
a
certain amount
of
power and
authority
but Satan perverted
that
power.
Satan
attempted
to exalt
himself
above God...
rather
than "just" being
the
Angel of
God.
“He aspired to be
like God in position, power
and
glory, but
not in
character.
Satan’s
adversary
to God
was the
birth
of sin.
A
created
being, he
sought honour and
glory
due alone to
the Creator.” SDA
Commentary Vol 4,
Pg 171.
“Instead
of
seeking
to make
God supreme
in the
affections
of the
angelic
host,
he
sought
for
himself
first place
in those
affections.”
SDA
Commentary
Vol 4,
Pg 171
(Isaiah
14
v12-14.)
Satan
wanted
to be
God but
God
said “NO!”
and
expelled Satan
and his
angels
from Heaven.
Satan
led one
third
of the
heavenly
angels
astray in a
misguided
attempt
to
overthrow
God's
authority. He
was
defeated by
God, but
he turned his focus
on the
people of this
world, especially on
God’s
chosen people,
you
and me.
Satan
experienced
an
internal
conflict and
gave
way in
his
heart to
negative
emotions
such as
self-centeredness,
vanity,
greed, lust,
envy,
jealousy,
strife,
hatred,
competition,
violence and
destruction
and became
deceptive. Today
many
people see
and
experience firsthand
the backlash
of
unresolved negative emotions
which
are the
manifestation
of a
conflict
within
their
own family,
where
there
is a
break
down in
the
parental
relationship.
Children who sometimes
blame themselves
and are
tormented
as they are
led
astray by a
parent often a mother
who subjects them to
the
deep, embedded
bitterness
she
holds towards
the
father as
a
result of
being
left as
a lone
parent
to raise the
children
by
herself. The
children
become resentful
of the
father
and take
the
side of
the
mother and
themselves
develop
a resentment, anger even
hatred
and the
circle
goes on
and on as they
form
similar
dysfunctional relationships
in
their
adulthood with
similar patterns
of
behaviour.
|
Equally
many
people
hold
on to
the
past. They
are stuck in
the
what
could
have
been,
what
should
have
been and
the ‘if only’
syndrome.
They repeat the
same old
story time and
time
again.
“When
I was
…
everything
was
great…
and if
only
it
had
worked
out
for
me…,
do
you
know
who
I
would
have
been…” They
hold
on to their
story for dear
life,
like
a
dog
with
a bone
and time passes
in
the
form
of
years,
5
years,
10
years,
20
years
and
yes
30
years
and
they
still
have
not
moved
on.
Is
this
YOU? Do
you
recognize
yourself?
They
blame
parents,
family
members
they
even
blame
God! But
never
themselves!
They
take
no
responsibility
and
they
fail
to
recognise
that
in
most
cases
where
they
are
in
their
life
is
the
result
of
their
choice
not
to
resolve
and
release
the
conflict
within
them.
Satan
failed
to
recognize
that
he
chose
to
become
angry
and
bitter
in
response
to
what God wanted
for
him. Satan
had
a
choice
to
resolve
his
conflict
by
recognizing
that
he could never
be
God. Had
he
done
so
he would
have felt joy
and
love
for the
Lord God Almighty
and
for
himself. |
 |
Satan
began
to interfere
with
the
relationship between
God
and
the
first humans
Adam
and
Eve. This
is when
Satan
used the
serpent
as a
medium
to question
Eve by cleverly
mixing
truth with
falsehood. “Ye shall
not
surely die?”(Gen.
3: 4) Satan
challenged
the truthfulness
of God’s
Word
with an
unconcealed lie (John 8:44).
Today, Satan
attempts
to lead earthly people
astray
as he
roams
the earth.
He
covers
people with
his
cloak of
unresolved negative emotions by
overwhelming
them
with spiritual,
emotional,
physical,
financial, social,
birth
family and church
family
conflict.
Fathers
and
mothers who
have
experienced conflict
in
their
childhood and
have an
unresolved
negative
emotion
may as
adults lead
their family
astray and
down a
path which
leads
to abuse,
drugs
and crime
etc.,
in the
same
way Satan
lead the
angels,
Adam
and Eve
astray.
Today
we
call
these families
dysfunctional.
Recently
in the
news,
Shannon
Matthews and
Baby P were
reported
as coming
from dysfunctional
families.
(Please see
link
below)
http://www.centreforsocialjustice.org.uk/default.asp?pageRef=298
Similarly we
see
mothers and
fathers’
negative
behaviour
towards
their children
and
towards each
other because
of
their
unresolved negative
emotions
which
were
created
in
childhood
through,
emotional, physical and
sexual
abuse. We
see this
in the
form
of
alcoholism, drug addiction,
and
criminal activity
to finance their
self-destruction.
We
see people
locked
away in this cage
of
self
destructive behaviour most
of
which
is self
inflicted.
This
is
why we
must
identify, resolve
and
release our
negative
emotions.
Conflict
is the
root of
ALL
unresolved negative emotions.
It
is said
that
Character is all we
take
with
us when
we leave
this
earth. It
is also
said
that
Character
is made
up of
feelings,
thoughts
and
emotions.
We
cannot embrace
the Character
of God
when we
have an
‘unresolved
negative
emotion’,
the
disparity between
them is
far too
great,
and they
are
complete opposites. We
therefore
need
to identify,
resolve
and
release all
of our ‘unresolved
negative
emotions’
before
we can
embrace
the
Character of
God and have
eternal
life. Failure to do
so will
result
in spiritual
and physical
death.
How to Resolve a Negative
Emotion
The
Bible
has
several references
to mind
(thought
and emotion)
and
body
connections
such as,
"A
merry
heart doeth
good
like a
medicine." Proverbs
17:22
and
“As a man
thinketh
in his heart so
he
is.” Proverbs
23:7.
 |
These scriptures
tell
us
that
we
must
keep
joy
in
our
heart
and
choose
the thoughts we hold
on
to
as
they
are
a
major
influencing
factor
on
our
optimal
health
and
well-being.
So
therefore
with this knowledge
we
must
choose
to
take hold
of
the
fruits
of
the
spirit,
love,
joy,
peace,
patience,
kindness,
goodness,
faithfulness,
humility
and
self-control
so
that
we
will
enjoy
in
abundance all that life has
to
offer. Positive
emotions
enhance
the
activity
of
all the bodily
functions.
Under
the
influence
of
joy,
the
small
arteries
and
capillaries
dilate,
and
every
organ
receives
an
increased
and
more
active
blood
supply.
There
is not
only an
increased
disposition to activity,
but
an
increased
capacity
for
effort
and
endurance.
The
heart
beats
stronger,
the
mind
is
more
alert,
and breathing
is
deeper,
digestion
more
active,
the
eyes
brighten;
the
glow
of
health
is
in
the
vibrancy
of
the skin. The
whole
body
rejoices
and
prospers
under
the
influence
of
cheerful
and
joyous
emotions. |
We
should
learn to
use our emotions
to
help us
decide
how we
should
act and not act
on our
emotions. If
you are
feeling
anger towards
a particular
person,
first acknowledge
this
negative
emotion and
use your
awareness
of it
to make
a
decision that it is
not
a good
time to
have a
conversation with this
individual
as
you
may say
something
you later regret.
When
you
make a
conscious decision not
to
speak to
someone
because you feel
anger
towards them,
you
are using
your
emotions
intelligently to choose
your
behaviour. The
result
is that
you make
a wise
decision
by not
allowing
your emotions
to
control or
influence
your
thoughts negatively.
We
must
remember
that
It is
important
to validate our emotions
and
equally important to question our
thinking.
Emotional
Education for
Children
We need
to be
aware
of the
messages we
send to our
children.
We
have to
be conscious of the
emotional
education
we give
to our
children. We are our children’s
first
teacher in
the
formative
years.
-
We
should:-Encourage our children to share
their
feelings
with us and
not teach
them
to
shut
off or
close down their emotions.
-
Teach
our
children
to
acknowledge
their
unresolved
negative
emotions
and
not
deny
their
feelings
(bury
them).
-
Talk to our
children
with
respect
and
not
say
“Go
away and
leave
me
alone.”
-
Be gentle
and
support
children
and
not
say
“Don’t
worry
about
it, it will sort itself
out.”
-
Encourage our
children
to speak
to us and
not
say
“Children
are
to be
seen and not
heard.”
-
Remind
them
that
they
are
young
and
that
there
is
no
pressure
on
them
and
not
say
“Grow
up you’re
not a baby.”
If they are
crying
take
time to talk
about
what’s
happening
and
not
say
“I’ll give
you something
to cry
about.”
|
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Positive
comments
lift
the
spirit,
build
confidence and
set a
good
solid foundation
for
life.
Negative
comments
crush
the spirit, deplete
confidence
and create
a lack
of
self-esteem
also
for
life.
Emotional
education
should
take place
throughout the life
of a
child
in
order
for
our children
to experience
emotional,
physical
and
spiritual
optimal
health
and
well-being
in
their
life.
The Five Components
of
Good Emotional
Health
Good Emotional
health
consists of
five key components:
1.
Being aware of
your emotions.
Emotionally
healthy
people are
in
touch with
their
emotions and can identify
and
acknowledge
them
as
experience.
2.
Being
able to
process
your
emotions.
After connecting
with
their
emotions,
emotionally
healthy people
develop
appropriate
ways
of
expressing
them.
3. Being
sensitive
to
other
people
and
their
emotions
and
having
the
ability
to empathize.
The ability
to
identify their
own
emotions
enables
emotionally healthy people
to
identify emotions in others
and to
have an
intuitive
sense of what
it
feels like
to experience them.
4. Being
self-empowered.
Emotionally healthy people
honour
their
emotions,
which empowers them to
fulfil
their goals.
5. Being
in
healthy
relationships.
Using
their
emotional
intelligence
and
empathy,
emotionally
healthy people
build
and maintain
strong,
functioning relationships.
Thinking
is
not
confined
to
the
brain.
The whole
body
participates.
Agreeable
thoughts and
pleasant
emotions induce
bodily
conditions
which
favour
health,
efficiency,
physical and
mental
optimal
health
and
well-being.
Ellen
White
wrote,
"True
education
includes
the
whole
being. It
enables
us to
make
the best
use of
brain, bone, muscle, body,
mind,
and heart."
Ministry of
Healing (p.
168).
Freedom From Unresolved
Negative
Emotions
7
Steps
to Freedom
1.
Freedom
Through
Acknowledgement
–
Psa.
32:5; 51:1-13
2.
Freedom By
Beholding
Jesus
Christ –
2Corinthians 3:18;
1Corinthians 1-13
3. Freedom
Through
Prayer
–
Phi.
4:6,7;
James
4:8; Luke
18:1;
Psa.
61:1,2; 66:18
4. Freedom
Through
the
Word
–
John
8:31,32;
2Corinthians
3:17;
1Peter
1:3,4;
Psa.119:11
5. Freedom
Through
Forgiveness
–
1John.1:9; Col.
3:13;
Mk.
11:25; Prov.
19;11; Mat.18:27
6. Freedom
Through
Serving
Others
–
Phil.
2:7;
Gal. 5:13;
Matthew
20:24-28;
Rev.
7:3
7. Freedom
Through
Correct
Lifestyle
Habits
–
1Cor. 6:18,19;
10:31; 9:25-27; Rom
.12:1,2
From
Dr T
Jackson
-
http://www.meetministry.org
As
human beings,
both
adults and
young
people need
a balanced
lifestyle. To achieve this
we must
embrace emotional,
spiritual
and
physical
holistic
healing
to acquire
optimal
health
and well
being.
Roy
and I
have
come to
understand and
appreciate
that
adults
and
young people
are
challenged
when
it
comes to
managing
their emotions
effectively. They
are not
able to
identify
or resolve
their
negative emotions
and very
few
people
question
their
stressful thoughts.
Holistic Emotional Lifestyle
Programme
(H.E.L.P.!
TM)
As
a
result
Roy
and
I
have
put
together
a
programme
called
the
Holistic
Emotional
Lifestyle
Programme
H.E.L.P.!
TM
H.E.L.P.!
TM
incorporates emotional, spiritual
and
physical healing
which
results
in a manageable transitional
lifestyle
change that incorporates
the eight
natural
laws
of
health and
a
“Change 4
Life”,
the government
directive for a
healthier life for
everyone.
H.E.L.P.! TM
comes
in different forms to
support
adults
and young
people
to
resolve the
core unresolved
negative
emotions
that
influence
their life. We
will
use
H.E.L.P.!
TM
to
facilitate
individuals
through a
seven
stage holistic
process. In
addition
adults and
young
people will
learn to
question
their
thinking. This
process
will teach
adults and young
people
to recognise
that
we all
have
choices.
When
we
question our
thinking
we
come
to understand
and
appreciate that
we have access
to an
abundance of options and
solutions
that we were
unaware
of
prior to
questioning
our
thoughts.
H.E.L.P.! TM
is being
targeted
at both
young
people
between
14-18
years
old and
adults.
We
are
presently in
discussions with the
view
to
agreeing the
date
for the
young
people’s
pilot. We
also intend to
run a
two day
H.E.L.P.!TM
programme for adults.
Each
participant
takes
away with
them a
transitional
personalized Lifestyle
Plan
that will benefit
all
the family.
In
the
meantime
Roy and
I continue
to do
our
work in
the
classroom and
the community
as we
teach
and share
H.E.L.P.!
TM
with
the
Love
and Grace
of God.
Blessings.
Karen
Jordan-Nicholls.
References
The
Bible
KJV
Ministry
of
Healing E. G. White
The
SDA
Commentary
Vol.5 pg.575
Prevention
Health
Magazine
Emrika Padum
Revised
Edition
of
Alive’s
Encyclopaedia
of
Natural
Healing,
Daniel Goleman
Emotional
Intelligence (Bantam, 1995),
In
Women's
Bodies,
Women’s
Wisdom
(Bantam, 1994)
A
Clinical
Guide to the Treatment
of the
Human
Stress
Response
By
George
S. Everly,
Jeffrey M.
Lating
(Don’t
Worry -
An
Excerpt
from
How
To Have
Good
Health
Through
Biologic Living, Page
228.)
http://www.meetministry.org/
Thomas
Jackson,
Ph.D,
CHE
Director/Co-Founder
M.E.E.T.
Ministry LaVerne
Jackson,
Ph.D,
NC
 Assist.
Director/Co-Founder
M.E.E.T.
Ministry
http://www.alive.com
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