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If your spouse doesn’t feel ready to pray with you yet
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Show them gentle kindness, it is the
Holy Spirit’s job to prompt, not ours to push.
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Prayer is a way of showing concern for
others. Ask your spouse what they would most like you to pray for them
and then only pray out loud what they have requested.
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Do all you can humbly so that your
behaviour cannot be interpreted as spiritual superiority. Avoid
behaviour which can then leave your spouse feeling discouraged, as this
can distance you from each other. Remember that the aim is for spiritual
intimacy. |
Confession
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Prayers of confession may be best made
privately until you feel ready to share together.
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If your offence has been against your
spouse, then praying for forgiveness from God in their presence may be
quite healing.
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Be careful that your prayers are not
used to hurt each other, and be aware of the importance of praying
humbly, so as not to spiritually ‘intimidate’ the other person.
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There may also be a place for
confessing with each other about the wrongs we have done to others, and
being accountable to each other for working with God to find new ways to
relate to others.
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Questions
to think about and perhaps talk about together:
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What are my concerns about praying
together?
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What might be my spouses concerns about
praying together?
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What might help make it easier for me
to pray with my spouse?
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What might make it easier for my spouse
to pray with me?
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How might God use prayer to help us
grow closer to Him and to each other? |
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Silent
hands prayer
This is one of the simplest of all prayers. Talk for a few minutes about
each of your prayer concerns, praises and thanks. Then hold hands and
silently pray for the other person. Squeeze hands after a few moments
and say ‘amen’ together. It can feel so good to know that someone else
is praying for us.
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Sentence
prayers
Prayer only needs to be simple. We can feel guilty if our minds drift
during other people’s long prayers! Just try praying one sentence at a
time, and then let the other person pray one sentence. You could be
guided by the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thankfulness and
Supplication) model of prayer and pray one or two sentences each for
each section of your prayer together. As you get used to the idea, you
can pray one sentence at a time, but increase the amount of sentences
you pray under each section. |
Prayer
book
Keep a journal of thankfulness to God. At the end of each day think of
everything you want to thank God for and write it in a small diary.
In the morning, write down together the concerns you each have for the
day that you would like the other person to consider in their prayers
for you.
Prayer
notice-board
Use a pin board or magnet board (even a fridge door will do!) and create
a prayer notice-board, with a collage of prayer requests, praising
thoughts, thanks, cards, photos, texts, answers to prayer, and any other
clippings. If you like being creative – make a beautiful scrapbook of
prayer together.
Conversational
prayer
These are like sentence prayers in that you pray a few sentences at a
time and then stop and let the other person pray. Try to follow each
other’s ideas and link your prayers together as if you were having a
conversation with each other and with God.
Prayer
cards
Buy some index cards in four different colours:
e.g. Yellow – Praise; Blue – confession; Green – Thanks; Pink – Prayer
Take a few cards each and write different sentence prayers according to
the colour-coded theme of the card. Lay them out together on the floor
in rows of different colours and then take it in turns to read the cards
out aloud as you pray together. Alternatively, lay them out and read
them silently together whilst holding hands. Or shuffle the cards and
deal them into two piles. Take a pile each and arrange them into a
prayer sequence. Read each prayer aloud to each other.
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Blessings
on each other
Try praying a simple blessing on each other when you part and meet and
get up and go to bed. Create your own words and traditions for doing
this – such as kissing each other on the forehead or hand before you say
the words. Or creating a special blessing gesture or signal so that you
can secretly bless each other, or show that you are praying for each
other. |
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Try Numbers 6:25, 2 Corinthians 13:14, or 1 Thessalonians 5:23 for
starters.
Pray
for specific things for each other, and other people
Try and be as specific as possible when you pray for each other, and
rejoice together when prayers are answered, even if the answers were not
what you were expecting or hoping for. It can be helpful to take a broad
and eternal perspective on answers to prayer at times, and to keep in
mind that God works all kinds of things that look messy to us into His
beautiful plans.
Prayer
reminders
Carry a small thing with you that reminds you to pray for each other
when you are apart, such as a button, piece of ribbon, or small
significant and symbolic item.
Prayer times
Pray for each other at a certain time of the day every day, by setting
an alarm on your watch, mobile phone, or electronic diary. Perhaps you
could text or email each other your prayers, or even try praying
together as an online MSN conversation.
Prayer
‘consequences’
Write out your prayers on pieces of paper and pass them back and forth,
adding a sentence at a time and folding over the top of the page. Follow
the same sequence of themes and prayer requests and then read each
prayer out as you pray together. Each prayer has then been created by
both of you.
Daily
prayer menus
Instead of praying for your entire prayer request list every day, it
might be helpful to group your prayer request lists in some way, and
pray for one category at a time. So you may pray for your family members
one day, colleagues and work issues the next day, overseas issues and
workers the next day, then local church and community issues, etc.
Karen and Bernie Holford 2004 |
