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Home schooling by G. Dacres It is a general truth that most parents want better things for their children than they themselves experienced when growing up. So when ships medical officer, Ernest Hines, (38), and wife, Rona, (30), executive officer of Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs had two boys they were determined that the kids should have a better education than they. “My memories of school were very disappointing and sad. It was a different world. I didn’t know what was happening. I wasn’t clued in and I didn’t want that to happen to my boys. I felt – and it’s born out in studies -that only working class white boys do worst than Nubian (African Caribbean) boys and Bangladeshi. I wanted them to enjoy their schooling”, says Ernest. The east Midlands’s couple decided to join a growing section of the British population that home educates their children. ‘Home schooling’, as it is known in North America, is when parents seek to educate their children themselves. The reasons for doing this can be to provide a well rounded education, meaningful life experiences and to establish close bonds between family members. In Britain the 1996 Education Act allows parents of compulsory school age children to provide full-time education suitable for their age and abilities – either by regular attendance at school ‘or otherwise’. The ‘or otherwise’ clause gives parents enough leeway to home educate. However parents may be inspected by the local education authority to make sure standards are suitable for their children and offered advice and guidance by education inspectors. The cost of educating their offspring then falls squarely onto the parents’ shoulders. Neither do children have to follow the National Curriculum or take formal examinations. Figures for the number of home educators in the UK are unclear since if a child never enters the school system the parents can choose not to register with the Local Education Authority (LEA). Estimates suggest close to 16,000 (Feb 2007) suggesting that it has risen three fold since 1999 but official records are poor. Other estimates range from 45-55,000. One thing is clear home education is rising in Britain. Ernest and Rona chose to home educate their boys, Eden, 3 and Malachi, 1, even though neither of them have any teaching experience or worked with children extensively. “I had it in my head that I didn’t want them to go through ‘the system’, because the system educates them to be what the system wants them to be and it’s education for the masses. And if your child doesn’t get a great education - it’s a numbers game - you’re co-lateral damage - you’re the child that didn’t achieve – but they’ve got 100 others that did…” explained Ernest. Former nurse and Pastor, Graham Allcock (52) and wife Pauline, (48) a former legal executive, have almost completed home educating their two children, Lynette and Stephen. The majority of home educators who withdraw their children from mainstream education are white British. They, like Ernest and Rona, are motivated to educate their kids at because of some troubling concerns. Pauline found research which indicated that boys should not be formally schooled and learn to read until they are 7 years old due to developmental delays. “A lot of the special needs that occur with boys are because boys are being forced into formal education far too early. The brain has not matured enough, the fine nerve endings to the eyes are not really developed sufficiently. Their cognitive abilities are really not there,” explains Pauline. She went on to prove the research by allowing Stephen to learn to read at aged 7. He was able to read complete sentences instead of the disjointed and isolated words that preschoolers normally master. And he understood that sentences carried on. Her daughter Lynette, then aged 6, was being held back by teachers. Despite being older and brighter than her classmates she was not being given school work to suit her abilities. In addition, a host of school rules prevented the children from behaving naturally. The couple were catapulted into home education in 1997. Parents who home school fall broadly into two large groups - those completely dissatisfied with state education and people who are faith led, or have deeply held philosophical values. A minority home educate because their child has special needs. Both couples cite faith as a motivating factor, whilst Pauline whose children did enter the system briefly was disturbed by the National Curriculum’s introduction of tenets of other religions, which confused the kids. Pauline also realised that the rigidity of the school day did not bend to allow the children to grasp learning in their own time when she worked as a school assistant, as lessons were brought to an abrupt end for another subject. Home schooling offers the freedom to explore subjects in daily living; a trip to the shops becomes a maths lesson which some children are never able to master in a formal rote and paper fashion. “Our home schooling was more informal but we worked on set topics – predominantly project based through the primary years. We’d go places, have a holiday when we wanted,” says Pauline who has recovered from Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.). Lynette re-entered state education at the age of 16, successfully adapting to a classroom environment and achieving excellent grades in her GCSEs. She was recently awarded a young person’s achievement award in recognition of her exam successes and her integration into college life after being home educated for 10 years. She plans to attend a Christian university where she hopes to further develop her writing skills. Stephen, (16), is completing his home schooling and hopes to work in aircraft mechanics. “Home school was good for me because I’m much more of a hands on person, than I am a ‘sit down and write in a book’ type. I enjoy the opportunities I’ve had for hands-on learning – it’s far better than doing it in a book,” he explains. One of the consequences of home schooling is often a reduction in the family’s income, making careful budgeting and personal sacrifice essential. Rona, 30, with a Catholic school background, briefly considered sending their boys to a good private faith school, but was persuaded by local home schooling parents and Christian authors’ opinions. But it was a struggle – as a career woman she knew she would be losing her financial independence and social life. “We looked at people that we know home school, but I still wasn’t too convinced that we could do it. It meant that I’ll have to take a break from work because it involved spending a lot of time with the kids. But when you look at the benefits of spending time with your kids it far out weighs what you’re giving up,” said Rona. Despite the relative affluence of the West most people resist educating their offspring themselves “because we have a certain expectation of life style and we expect that to be met and that means two people have to work,” says Ernest who accepts that the couple’s annual income will be slashed by half. “We struggled a lot, but it’s worked out very well from a social aspect,” admits Pauline. No surprise that a self sufficient existence will underpin Ernest and Rona’s home schooling. Not quite manure encrusted organic veg at the moment but certainly in the long term. “In the cities the children are going to be immersed in this man made life and it’s going to be difficult for them to pick out the best bits - take them into the countryside, fresh air, let them experience nature and God. Kids can grow and develop and their minds will bloom as naturally and fertile as the sown grass,” enthuses Ernest. “On the whole we got along together. It definitely helped the family. A lot of people have commented since about how well rounded Lynette and Stephen are. They can easily relate to people of all ages,” says Pauline. Certainly both teenagers display a level headedness not common to their hormone-addled peers and in direct contrast to the general trend of society’s secularism, they willingly engage in daily family worship. The argument that their children would be less able to cope with life due to limited exposure is another reason why the couples opted for an education provided by themselves. They argue that it’s precisely because the future is so bleak that their kids will be hardy enough to withstand the worst society can throw at them because of the care parents plan to provide through home schooling. “We are fobbing off our responsibilities onto someone else who if it goes wrong we can blame. It’s your responsibility for that child,” says Ernest. The strongest and persistent argument against home education is isolation. Throughout their home schooling, Lynette and Stephen have enjoyed a busy and interactive church life, as well as friendships in their neighbourhood. Pauline joined the Home Schooling Association based at Stockport although there were no local home educators with children of a similar age at the time. “I was very excited about it (home education). I wasn’t very happy in school. I was bad at maths. When I was at home I could learn things in my own time - my friends were really jealous. I was very happy,” remembers Lynette. Stephen found himself the envy of the local neighbourhood boys. “I haven’t suffered from lack of friends at all. Generally I met friends on the street I’d live on and they’d have friends who’d got friends and so my circle of friends got wider and wider,” he explained. “They’d say ‘can you adopt me?’ When I’ve explained what it is, virtually every one I’ve spoken to would have really liked to have been home schooled. To be honest it was because they didn’t get a lie-in in the morning but they would have liked to have had the one on one attention from their parents and to learn at their own pace,” he adds. (Since the age of 13 Stephen has had a newspaper round, so doesn’t actually get a lie-in in the mornings!) Educating a child at home is achievable through straight forward organisation. Numerous manuals, some faith based, others secular, take a parent through a step by step guide to curriculum in a structured way. They encourage keeping diaries to provide evidence for auditors that the children are being kept up to standard. Ultimately it is the woman who takes up the burden for providing the education. Graham, who is taking his Bradford based family abroad for work with the church, admits that Pauline shuffled the education around his own pastoral work. “I wouldn’t be able to get on the computer when ever I wanted to but they’ve received an excellent educational basis,” says Graham proudly of his wife’s work. Home education remains a viable and growing alternative to British state education with its issues around the curriculum and discipline. “We’re not expecting our children to be faultless when they grow up but at least it’s in our own hands, should the child come to the end of his education and be poorly educated then we‘ve got to live with that but at least we can say we’ve done our best, said Ernest.” PICs Supplied by families. Acknowledgements to the Allcocks and Hines family.
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Home Education by Susanna Matthan As a professional in education, before I became a mother, I believed and accepted that the system I was raised in was the way things should be. No questions. No challenges. No big deal. When I became a mum, things changed. I saw things differently, everything became personal, magnified and a concern. I could not accept things as they were. My child was not going to be raised the way I was, the risks were too great. Things had changed, morally, spiritually, culturally and physically. I had seen and heard too much, having spent years with other people’s children day in day out. In my youth I paid little attention to matters of education, my folks did all of that. I attended school, college and university, struggling at times, though still not questioning the process. I did it because it was expected of me. It appeared to be the right way. As a young teacher, I began to question things a bit more, to challenge the status quo, if only in my own head. Why were so many children badly behaved? Why were so many children unhappy? Why were we spending so much time with the children who got into trouble? Was it anything to do with me or them, their parents, families or the environment? Culture or class? Was there any point, would it ever get better, what hope was there? As I grew, my attitudes changed, changing my views towards parenthood, family and society. For me, parenting in itself, was a whole new ball game. We followed many of the norms expected of fellow parents, attending play groups, fun activities and things put on just for children. It then began to dawn on me that all these activities were for preparation, preparation for the route that the majority of children would take. It was all about school - that was the ultimate goal. Having already decided that we would not be travelling the well-trodden path, my husband and I had to think about alternatives. As a couple, we knew that we were capable of continuing to raise our child beyond the years when most children passed the rites of passage and were presented with their first school uniform. Our daughter was already showing signs of being a beautiful violinist, having watched her daddy teach and play regularly, as well as attending concerts and falling asleep while he rehearsed with a band. Music seemed to be ingrained. As did reading, drawing, singing, praying, playing, laughing and all the rest. We were enjoying each other’s company so why should it be ruined by sending her off to be raised by other people. We could do it. Our confidence was growing. When it comes to parenting, home schooling, education and learning, our society has a way of communicating certain messages to us. ‘Best leave it to the experts’, those who have studied and received recognition for their expertise. I challenge this. I understand that the responsibility of being a parent started at conception and continues for life. I am accountable for the development of my child and see the eternal value of investing in her character development. It is my privilege. By far the greatest challenges we reflected upon were those relating to the emotional and spiritual aspects of a child’s development. Early separation from parents seemed to create young people who were unable to communicate on a deep level with their own families, especially their main carers. My personal experiences of growing up, especially in the developmental years of puberty, were not to be desired. I went through much of it alone, locked in a world only known to myself. I would not want my child to have to suffer in the same way. So, we took the risk of facing the wrath of family and friends who may well have abandoned us to this foolish notion. Thankfully, we had no real outward rejection and were able to move at our own pace, using wisdom and understanding to raise our daughter. At times comments were made, albeit gently. We seemed to be progressing in ways that people could observe externally, and therefore experienced acceptance. For us, though, it was not the external that counted so much. We were acting on principle and living in faith. On reflection, being united as a couple, in our mission to follow this way of life, appears to be essential. Party because of the financial, social, intellectual and spiritual challenges that we were to face, one of us had to choose to reduce our earning potential by staying home as the main home educating parent. The commonly held concept of escaping one’s own child to have ‘me time’ slowly faded away. Perhaps it was just society’s creation, and wasn’t a way of life we wanted to follow anyway. There were also the conversations where we were reminded that it was ridiculous to deprive a child of ‘group socialisation’ in a school context. We developed ways of coping with these arguments, with sound, sometimes amusing, evidence to the contrary.As the days turned into weeks and the months into years, we no longer feared the challenges. We know the path we have chosen is not the easiest one, but it certainly is the best for us. It means that we can still have a close relationship with our daughter, she talks to us about all sorts of things. She shares her thoughts, fears and concerns. She challenges us to grow ourselves in ways we would not have imagined. She is not embarrassed by her parents when some of her peers would rather cross the road than be seen with their own flesh and blood. Our choice has limitations, but none that we feel restricts our family unity and closeness or stops our daughter flourishing. Far from it! We have had more freedom to choose how we do things. We can travel, spend time on the things we value, complete tasks when they need completing and have our own routines. Financially, all responsibilities are ours, as we do not qualify for anything free. We’ve got over the unfairness of it all, and just rejoice that we are not beholden to anyone regarding our choices. As parents, our own highly structured, didactic schooling has had a lasting effect on us. We still find it difficult to make certain decisions that our daughter is extremely competent at making. We still find it hard to think for ourselves, always looking for the external recognition that was our old reward. One of the joys of enabling your own child to learn is that it is possible for them to develop true self-discipline. Naturally, it takes a lot of self-discipline on the part of the parents to do this. Really knowing that a child can be trusted to act independently, make good decisions and be safe is reward in itself. Our personal lives are the model that our children may choose to follow. They see and hear all things and will either adopt them or develop them. Following an alternative model of education, in choosing to home educate our daughter, has not been easy. Neither has it be a burden. As life continues, we expect good fruit, just as a farmer expects his crop to emerge one day. The hard work of tilling the soil and planting the crop will be forgotten. He will enjoy the harvest. Children are a heritage, a joy, a blessing. I am very grateful for that.
Wife, Mother, Home Educator, Teacher, Parent Coach, Street Pastor .. 01526 861107 smatthan@gmail.com Anyone with questions on home education (or anything else) are welcome to contact me personally. Some relevant home education in the UK links: http://www.educationeverywhere.co.uk/ http://www.education-otherwise.org/
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HEALTH & BEAUTY DAMAGED FEET by G. A. Dacres
How beautiful are your
sandaled feet, cooed the wisest man who ever lived. (Songs of
Solomon. Ch. 7,V.I) And yet in the 21st Century, feet are largely ignored by humanity, save the odd outing by a arambunctious ex-princess who understands the pleasure well cared for feet can bring.
Most peoples' interest begins and
ends in the relationship they have with their shoes. In other
words, Whilst the Creator has made in the foot a biological, architectural success with 26 bones articulating to carry a body three or four times around the world in a lifetime, there exists a negative force within humanity to abuse the feet. A most obvious example of the negative effect that clothing the foot can have is to look at the anthropological evidence. The Chinese enjoyed a period of their history with the fascination of binding the feet of their women. As children, high born girls would be subject to a careful foot binding process which rendered them helpless and was esteemed by their men on a par to virginity. The arrival of Christianity helped enlighten the practitioners but not before the effects of foot binding were documented. The bound foot was waxen due to lack of sunlight, the toes would be found lying against the heel and the whole foot incapable of carrying the woman. In fact these women would have to be carried about even though they were born with perfect feet. The damage was irreversible. Leap forward into modern times and the high heel, pointed toe box and slip on shoe performs the same job. The wearer's toes twist unnaturally away from a foot flat position, the toes become bunched together and to the delight of an onlooker, the buttocks acquire an unmistakable tremor. Wearing certain shoes eroticises feet, and whilst this in itself is not unethical, the obsession with self and the physical damage done to feet by constant use of crippling footwear becomes questionable. Strip away the shoe and hosiery in any congregation to reveal: • Diseased decaying toenails, often traumatised by tight toe box making them at risk to thickening and subject to fungal infection that crumbles the nail plate away.
• Bunions, professionally known as
hallux valgus, sometimes inherited or congenital, but more often • Thick, impenetrable skin on heels, soles and on the toe knuckles. Sufferers feel as if the skin is drawn tight over their feet and it is rough snagging delicate hosiery. • Corns, a devilish complaint, stabbing away at each step forming just at the point of greatest pressure from a shoe on the sole or a toe joint.
• Gait (walking) problems, lower back
pain and chronic foot ache that knocks the smile off a face. • Select shoes that are wide enough for the toes to wriggle in when done up. Normally these are lace-up but the fashion should suit your needs—Velcro, t-bars are acceptable as long as the length is right. • Take care that your hosiery fits, especially with babies and the young.
• Wash and moisturise your feet daily;
treat your feet like your face and attend to them specifically.
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And God Waits Finding time to be with God can be quite a challenge! Whether you are single or married, young or old, we all share the same struggle—to be consistent in the time we spend with GOD. God waits as we grapple with the demands that keep us away from Him. He lingers as we jam-pack our 24-hour day with nurturing our families, working, sleeping, eating, exercising, keeping house, fulfilling church commitments and finding time for ourselves. He tarries as we placate our guilty hearts with thoughts that tomorrow, we will sit with God in the freshness of a new day - tomorrow - tomorrow - and God waits. Why does God wait? Maybe because He is hoping that one day we will slow down enough to understand the truth of His words to us in Matt 6:33, “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well”. Perhaps one day we will learn that time spent with God is not just another demand, but a place where a loving Father graciously gives us what we need to face each day, each trial, each temptation He wants to give us His very best. Recently I read a translation of Matt 6:33. It said, “Steep your life in God reality, God initiative, God provisions. Don’t worry about missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met”. —The Message Bible. If we look at that translation further, we will understand why God waits for us to give Him some of our time. Steep your life in God Reality Steep is a strong, powerful word. The actual word means to soak or to be soaked. We are to soak our lives in ‘God reality’. How do we learn of ‘God reality’? It is by reading our Bible. Everything that is written in God’s Word is to impact our world. We will know what is important to God, to love what He values, and to live by those values. It is all too easy to live our lives as if this world were reality, not the world that God speaks of in the Bible. We can become so busy achieving what the world sees as important or trying to find our place in the world that we see, that we forget the real one —that one cannot be seen with human eyes. We lose sight of God’s world that speaks of the conflict between good and evil, truth and lies, eternal death or forever life. Steep your life in God reality and the attractions of this world will indeed be seen for what they are - distractions to take you away from God. Steep your life in God initiative Sensational and secure are the words that spring to mind when I read this phrase. When we ask God to take the initiative in our lives we are inviting him to take an active part in leading, directing and guiding us. Never be hesitant in doing this for it is God’s delight to direct us in the best way for us. Every time I place my key in the front door of my house, I praise God that He asks us to steep our lives in His initiatives. For 18 months we lived in a rented flat before we moved into the house that is currently our home. During that time we had made moves to purchase several houses only to lose them within weeks of closing the deals to buy them. Finally I invited God to lead, to take the initiative in our lives. Steep your life in God provisions This lets us off the hook in worrying about anything! It means that we can hand over to God everything that is heavy in our hearts—the big problems, the little ones, the insignificant ones and the gigantic ones. We can place them in God’s heart and be confident that He will provide the solutions that we long for. When we do this our relationship with God will grow, as we will clearly see God taking an active part in our lives. The most important thing is to depend upon Him and expectantly wait for Him to work through the struggles that bring strife into your life. What will happen to us when we steep ourselves in God’s reality, His initiatives, and His provisions? We will live with peace, contentment and serenity in our hearts. How can I be sure? God has a perfect track record as someone who keeps His word. When God says that He will take care of every concern of ours, He means it. In exchange for our time God will give us a relationship with Him that will deepen our trust in Him. However, knowing all that doesn’t necessarily mean that we will spend time with God. Recently God has been waiting for me to sit with Him. I haven’t intentionally ignored Him. In fact I have been lonely for Him. But I know that while I have been rushing around with life’s demands, a family and the pressures of a job that has no clocking off time, God has been waiting. A friend and I meet once a week to pray for our children and our ministries in the churches that we work in. One of my prayer requests has been that I would find time to be with God. That prayer is being answered and it is good to sit with God again. If you find it hard to spend time with God, you may find the following suggestions helpful: 1. Find a prayer partner and make your time with God a matter of prayer. Very often we ask others to join with us in prayer over Aunt Maud who is ill, or our son who needs a job, but praying over our relationship with God is just as important. Pray that your time with God will be satisfying, exciting and that through your time together you will not only experience all that wants to give you but that you will sincerely worship Him with your whole heart. 2. Be consistent. Decide that every day you are going to spend some time with God—even if it is only 10 minutes. 3. Have a plan as you read your Bible. Take notes of what God is saying to you through the passage you are reading. 4. Turn what you read into an expression of praise or a prayer. For example: “He counts the stars and assigns each a name”. — Psalm 147:4. The Message. “Praise you God, that because you care enough to name a star, care enough to bring light into my times of darkness”. “My presence will go with you, and I will give you rest”.—Exodus 33:14 “Father in heaven, help me to experience your presence today in my life and may you deposit your peace within the depths of my heart and mind, so that I can know what it means to receive your rest. Amen.” 5. Read different versions of the Bible. Each year choose a different translation or even plan to read a particular book several times in different versions. For example, if you are going through a tough time the book of Philippians can really be inspiring; read it in different versions until the words that you read become hope in your heart. 6. Ask for a blessing. God yearns to do so much for you. Ask God to bless you just as He did with Jabez in the Old Testament. Don’t forget to ask God to make you a blessing to others too. Each day after your time with God send a note of encouragement or blessings to someone else. 7. Our relationship with God is one of the most important things in our lives. You really can’t afford to keep Him waiting anymore! To enjoy more from Mary read her book published by Autumn House, “God Comes to Visit”.
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Girls need a Dad Fathers influence daughters’ lifestyle habits. It’s long been known that parents influence lifestyle choices that kids make. But surprising new research has shown that fathers have a considerable influence on their daughters’ diet and exercise choices. Girls as young as age 5 to 7 had significantly higher body mass indexes when they came from families whose parents were below average in physical activity levels. Surprisingly, when researchers investigated the girls’ levels of physical activity, they found that girls’ preference for exercise was most likely to be affected by their fathers. Daughters whose fathers were active enjoyed exercise activities more than those whose fathers were sedentary. Mothers’ activity patterns were not associated with their daughters’ exercise participation.Children who have fathers in their lives learn better, have higher self-esteem and show fewer signs of depression than children without fathers. They also score higher on basic learning tests. The study’s findings apply equally to boys and girls and to black and white children. Clearly a father’s presence and involvement benefits the child’, says Howard Dubowitz, MD, Pediatrics Professor at University of Maryland’s School of Medicine.
CHILDREN WHO HAVE FATHERS IN THEIR LIVES LEARN BETTER, HAVE HIGHER SELF-ESTEEM AND SHOW FEWER SIGNS OF DEPRESSION THAN CHILDREN WITHOUT FATHERS. Top of page |
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Have Kids – Will Travel by Karen Holford
We were almost ready to lock the boot and start the engine. The car was packed high with camping gear. The roof box groaned with our suitcases, and every spare gap in the car was packed with shoes, wellies, buckets and spades, food for the journey and a few things to keep three children under ten occupied for a week. We strapped the children into the back of the car and continued to pack, squeezing the mattresses and sleeping bags around their feet. We slammed the car doors quickly to hold everything in place before it all fell out again. I climbed into my seat and Bernie packed the picnic carefully around my feet. Then he added bottles of water, books to read, some umbrellas, the binoculars and the hamster cage. He shut my door quickly, before all of that stuff fell out, and we were ready for take off! We drove and drove. Then we stopped for a picnic, next to a park where the children could run around and stretch their legs. We had to unpack all the sleeping bags, mattresses and wellies to get the children out. When we were ready to go again, it took another half hour to put the mobile jigsaw back together. The second half of the journey wasn’t so smooth. The sun was shining and the children were getting hot with all those sleeping bags around their legs. They didn’t have the space to wriggle and they were cross and fidgety from being so restricted. Then our daughter was sick, all down the front of her dress, just before we were about to visit her great-grandmother. We had to get all the suitcases out of the roofbox to get her a new dress, but at least she could have a bath before we set off again. But we were all grumpy now. We had listened to the story tape three times. I was too tired to try and distract them with a scintillating game of ‘I Spy’ or the lively lyrics of ‘The Wheels on the Bus’, and we got miserably lost because our map was so old it was missing several major roads, and the page we needed most had been ripped out years before. We were about two hours away from the campsite in North Wales when one son was violently sick. With great artistry he managed to target every sleeping bag in the car, a couple of pillows, and the inside of his Dad’s left welly. He also managed to decorate his t-shirt, shorts, socks and shoes. We had to stop, take everything out of the back of the car, strip him, and wash him down with a bottle of sparkling water. By this time we weren’t in the mood to empty the roof box and find him some fresh clothes. At three he would have to be content to spend the rest of our journey in his underpants. But his brother wanted to stop and play. He was so fed up from being in the car that he began to kick anything near his feet. Finally we found a playground in the middle of a market town. It was a busy day and there were people everywhere as we played on the swings and slides with two kids in clothes and one who was wearing his favourite Mickey Mouse underpants. By the time we arrived at the camp site we were tired, we all smelled sweaty and vomity, our sleeping bags needed to be washed and it was pouring with rain. A week later it was time to reverse the whole procedure so we could get back home again. Travelling with children is a challenge. A one hour trip is likely to be fine if you can seat the children so they can’t bash each other with their large plastic toys. Two hours and you definitely need some distractions to keep them happy, like a story tape, travel lotto game, or a granny who will sit in the back with them and tell them endless stories of her childhood. Three and you probably need a loo break/picnic/playground stop. Four hours of travel and an in-car DVD player sounds like a great idea. Five hours or more and it’s very tempting to give up and stay at home, travel through the night, or even wonder if it’s possible to FedEx the kids….Kids, did I say kids?! ….I meant sleeping bags…Honest… Years later we have finally solved the problem of travelling with children…Let them have their own car! Sounds so simple, when you think about it. Just took us almost eighteen years to get them ready for the experience! Here are some of the more useful ideas we collected along the way: Don’t over pack. You probably won’t need everything you think you’ll need, and you’ll be safer and more comfortable. Try to keep plenty of space around feet and legs so they can stretch and move and keep the circulation going. Dress children in layers so they can take things off if they get hot. And don’t forget to pack an extra outfit for each of you, in a bag that you can access easily, so that no-one has to arrive in their underwear! Keep the ‘sick’ bags from any flights you make and pop them in car seat pockets and glove compartments. Show your children how to use them. One of our children was sick whilst trying to open the bottom of the bag because they were so ill they didn’t notice they were holding the bag upside down. When they finally opened the bottom of the bag, it wasn’t a very effective shape any more! Try to come off the road for a special break somewhere, not just a brief stop. If you travel on A-roads rather than motorways there are usually more places where you can stop when you need to, more places to visit along the way, more playgrounds and easier diversions if there is a hold up or accident. Explore the internet or tourist information centres to find interesting things to visit along the way so that your journey becomes a fun outing, too. If you have a meal along the way, avoid things that are very greasy or sugary, which might make the children feel more nauseous. Fresh fruit and vegetables, such as baked potatoes, can be filling and nutritious. Children always get thirsty in the car, so make sure you have plenty of fluids with you in non-spill containers, or use plain water. Be prepared to make lots of toilet stops! Make a game out of counting all the toilets along the journey so that you don’t miss one that someone might need. Older children may like to help you plan the route, and help you navigate. They can take it in turns to see where you are on the map and to tell the family if any special things are coming up, like villages with interesting names, rivers, railways, forests, etc. Wrap tiny treats in scraps of wrapping paper and give each child their own bag of ‘gifts’. Set a timer for thirty minutes, or even an hour. Then let the children choose a treat every time the bell rings. Choose cartons of fruit juice, tiny boxes of dried fruit, small toys, comics, little plastic puzzles, boxes of crayons and paper, play dough, a story cassette, etc. The timer helps to spread the treats so that they don’t open everything at once. Borrow story cassettes/CDs from your local library, for a small fee, and listen to these in the car, or choose a sing along tape/CD for the whole family to enjoy. If children want to listen to different things personal CD players with headphones can be useful. School age children can play alphabet games. Look out of the car window to find things beginning with each letter of the alphabet in turn. Arch, bridge, car park, dog, etc. The Rainbow Game is a game where you have to find five things of each colour of the rainbow. Start with red, then orange, yellow, green, blue, purple and indigo, and find five items that are mostly the selected colour, then move to the next colour. Find pairs of things. You make a pair when you can see only two of something at the same time, such as two cars the same colour, two bridges, two dogs, etc. If you can see more than two, then it’s not a pair! See how many pairs you can find as a family. Chain words are words where the next word in the list must begin with the last letter of the one before. Choose a topic, such as animals, and take it in turns to name a creature that begins with the last letter of the one just named. Eg. Penguin, NewT, TortoisE, ElK, etc. Give your children imaginary ice creams. Each child describes their ideal ice cream and imagines its size, flavour, toppings, sauces, etc. After they have described the ice cream in as much detail as possible, give them an imaginary cone to eat and see who can make it last the longest! Find some fiddly little toys that can’t lose any bits, but which have good play value, such as hand-held computer games, cube puzzles, square slide puzzles, play screens, sticker boards, and other fidget toys. Where possible, avoid competitive games, as someone will usually end up in tears! Bon Voyage! And may all your journeys be happy ones!
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