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FEATURE
Home schooling
by G. Dacres
It is a general truth that
most parents want better things for their children than they
themselves experienced when growing up.
So when ships medical officer,
Ernest Hines, (38), and wife, Rona, (30), executive officer of
Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs had two boys they were
determined that the kids should have a better education than
they.
“My memories of school were
very disappointing and sad. It was a different world. I didn’t
know what was happening. I wasn’t clued in and I didn’t want
that to happen to my boys. I felt – and it’s born out in studies
-that only working class white boys do worst than Nubian
(African Caribbean) boys and Bangladeshi. I wanted them to enjoy
their schooling”, says Ernest.
The
east Midlands’s couple decided to join a growing section of the
British population that home educates their children.
‘Home schooling’, as it is known
in North America, is when parents seek to educate their children
themselves. The reasons for doing this can be to provide a well
rounded education, meaningful life experiences and to establish
close bonds between family members.
In Britain the 1996 Education Act
allows parents of compulsory school age children to provide
full-time education suitable for their age and abilities – either by
regular attendance at school ‘or otherwise’.
The ‘or otherwise’ clause
gives parents enough leeway to home educate. However parents may be
inspected by the local education authority to make sure
standards are suitable for their children and offered advice and
guidance by education inspectors. The cost of educating their
offspring then falls squarely onto the parents’ shoulders.
Neither do children have to follow
the National Curriculum or take formal examinations.
Figures for the number of home
educators in the UK are unclear since if a child never enters the
school system the parents can choose not to register with the Local
Education
Authority (LEA).
Estimates suggest close to 16,000 (Feb 2007) suggesting that it has
risen three fold since 1999 but official records are poor. Other
estimates range from 45-55,000. One thing is clear home education
is rising in Britain.
Ernest and Rona chose to home
educate their boys, Eden, 3 and Malachi, 1, even though neither of
them have any teaching experience or worked with children
extensively.
“I had it in my head that I
didn’t want them to go through ‘the system’, because the
system educates them to be what the system wants them to be and it’s
education for the masses. And if your child doesn’t get a great
education - it’s a numbers game - you’re co-lateral damage - you’re
the child that didn’t achieve – but they’ve got 100 others that
did…” explained Ernest.
Former nurse and Pastor,
Graham Allcock (52) and wife Pauline, (48) a former legal
executive, have almost completed home educating their two children,
Lynette and Stephen. The majority of home educators who withdraw
their children from mainstream education are white British.
They, like Ernest and Rona, are
motivated to educate their kids at because of some troubling
concerns.
Pauline found research which
indicated that boys should not be formally schooled and learn to
read until they are 7 years old due to developmental delays.
“A lot of the special
needs that occur with boys are because boys are being forced into
formal education far too early. The brain has not matured enough,
the fine nerve endings to the eyes are not really developed
sufficiently. Their cognitive abilities are really not there,”
explains Pauline.
She went on to prove the research
by allowing Stephen to learn to read at aged 7. He was able to read
complete sentences instead of the disjointed and isolated words that
preschoolers normally master. And he understood that sentences
carried on.
Her daughter Lynette, then aged 6,
was being held back by teachers.
Despite being older and brighter
than her classmates she was not being given school work to suit her
abilities. In addition, a host of school rules prevented the
children from behaving naturally. The couple were catapulted into
home education in 1997.
Parents who home school fall
broadly into two large groups - those completely dissatisfied with
state education and people who are faith led, or have deeply held
philosophical values. A minority home educate because their child
has special needs.
Both couples cite faith as a
motivating factor, whilst Pauline whose children did enter the
system briefly was disturbed by the National Curriculum’s
introduction of tenets of other religions, which confused the kids.
Pauline also realised that the
rigidity of the school day did not bend to allow the children to
grasp learning in their own time when she worked as a school
assistant, as lessons were brought to an abrupt end for another
subject.
Home schooling offers the freedom
to explore subjects in daily living; a trip to the shops becomes a
maths lesson which some children are never able to master in a
formal rote and paper fashion.
“Our home schooling was more
informal but we worked on set topics – predominantly project based
through the primary years. We’d go places, have a holiday
when we wanted,” says Pauline who has recovered from
Myalgic Encephalomyelitis (M.E.).
Lynette re-entered state education
at the age of 16, successfully adapting to a classroom environment
and achieving excellent grades in her GCSEs. She was
recently awarded a young person’s achievement award in recognition
of her exam successes and her integration into college life
after being home educated for 10 years.
She plans to attend a
Christian university where she hopes to further develop her writing
skills.
Stephen, (16), is completing his
home schooling and hopes to work in aircraft mechanics.
“Home school was good for me
because I’m much more of a hands on person, than I am a ‘sit down
and write in a book’ type. I enjoy the opportunities I’ve had for
hands-on learning – it’s far better than doing it in a book,”
he explains.
One of the consequences of home
schooling is often a reduction in the family’s income, making
careful budgeting and personal sacrifice essential.
Rona, 30, with a Catholic school
background, briefly considered sending their boys to a good private
faith school, but was persuaded by local home schooling parents and
Christian authors’ opinions. But it was a struggle – as a career
woman she knew she would be losing her financial independence and
social life.
“We looked at people that we know
home school, but I still wasn’t too convinced that we could do it.
It meant that I’ll have to take a break from work because it
involved spending a lot of time with the kids. But when you look at
the benefits of spending time with your kids it far out weighs what
you’re giving up,” said Rona.
Despite the relative affluence of
the West most people resist educating their offspring themselves
“because we have a certain expectation of life style and we expect
that to be met and that means two people have to work,” says Ernest
who accepts that the couple’s annual income will be slashed by half.
“We struggled a lot, but it’s
worked out very well from a social aspect,” admits Pauline.
No surprise that a self sufficient
existence will underpin Ernest and Rona’s home schooling. Not quite
manure encrusted organic veg at the moment but certainly in the long
term.
“In the cities the children are
going to be immersed in this man made life and it’s going to be
difficult for them to pick out the best bits - take them into the
countryside, fresh air, let them experience nature and God. Kids can
grow and develop and their minds will bloom as naturally and fertile
as the sown grass,” enthuses Ernest.
“On the whole we got along
together. It definitely helped the family. A lot of people have
commented since about how well rounded Lynette and Stephen are. They
can easily relate to people of all ages,” says Pauline.
Certainly both teenagers
display a level headedness not common to their hormone-addled peers
and in direct contrast to the general trend of society’s secularism,
they willingly engage in daily family worship.
The argument that their children
would be less able to cope with life due to limited exposure is
another reason why the couples opted for an education provided by
themselves.
They argue that it’s precisely
because the future is so bleak that their kids will be hardy enough
to withstand the worst society can throw at them because of the care
parents plan to provide through home schooling.
“We are fobbing off our
responsibilities onto someone else who if it goes wrong we can
blame. It’s your responsibility for that child,” says Ernest.
The strongest and persistent
argument against home education is isolation.
Throughout their home schooling,
Lynette and Stephen have enjoyed a busy and interactive church life,
as well as friendships in their neighbourhood. Pauline
joined the Home Schooling Association based at Stockport
although there were no local home educators with children of
a similar age at the time.
“I was very excited about it (home
education). I wasn’t very happy in school. I was bad at maths. When
I was at home I could learn things in my own time - my friends were
really jealous. I was very happy,” remembers Lynette.
Stephen found himself the envy of
the local neighbourhood boys. “I haven’t suffered from lack of
friends at all. Generally I met friends on the street I’d live on
and they’d have friends who’d got friends and so my circle of
friends got wider and wider,” he explained.
“They’d say ‘can you adopt me?’
When I’ve explained what it is, virtually every one I’ve spoken to
would have really liked to have been home schooled. To be honest it
was because they didn’t get a lie-in in the morning but they would
have liked to have had the one on one attention from their parents
and to learn at their own pace,” he adds. (Since the age of
13 Stephen has had a newspaper round, so doesn’t actually get a
lie-in in the mornings!)
Educating a child at home is
achievable through straight forward organisation. Numerous
manuals, some faith based, others secular, take a parent through a
step by step guide to curriculum in a structured way. They
encourage keeping diaries to provide evidence for auditors that the
children are being kept up to standard.
Ultimately it is the woman
who takes up the burden for providing the education. Graham, who is
taking his Bradford based family abroad for work with the church,
admits that Pauline shuffled the education around his own pastoral
work.
“I wouldn’t be able to get on the
computer when ever I wanted to but they’ve received an excellent
educational basis,” says Graham proudly of his wife’s work.
Home education remains a viable
and growing alternative to British state education with its issues
around the curriculum and discipline.
“We’re not expecting our children
to be faultless when they grow up but at least it’s in our own
hands, should the child come to the end of his education and be
poorly educated then we‘ve got to live with that but at least we can
say we’ve done our best, said Ernest.”
PICs Supplied by families.
Acknowledgements to the Allcocks and Hines family.
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ISSUES
Home
Education by
Susanna Matthan
As a
professional in education, before I became a mother, I believed
and accepted that the system I was raised in was the way things
should be. No questions. No challenges. No big deal.
When I became a
mum, things changed. I saw things differently, everything became
personal, magnified and a concern. I could not accept things as
they were. My child was not going to be raised the way I was,
the risks were too great. Things had changed, morally,
spiritually, culturally and physically. I had seen and heard too
much, having spent years with other people’s children day in day
out.
In my youth I
paid little attention to matters of education, my folks did all
of that. I attended school, college and university, struggling
at times, though still not questioning the process. I did it
because it was expected of me. It appeared to be the right way.
As a young
teacher, I began to question things a bit more, to challenge the
status quo, if only in my own head. Why were so many children
badly behaved? Why were so many children unhappy? Why were we
spending so much time with the children who got into trouble?
Was it anything to do with me or them, their parents, families
or the environment? Culture or class? Was there any point,
would it ever get better, what hope was there?
As I grew, my attitudes
changed, changing my views towards parenthood, family and society. For
me, parenting in itself, was a whole new ball game. We followed many of
the norms expected of fellow parents, attending play groups, fun
activities and things put on just for children. It then began to dawn on
me that all these activities were for preparation, preparation for the
route that the majority of children would take. It was all about school
- that was the ultimate goal.
Having already decided
that we would not be travelling the well-trodden path, my husband and I
had to think about alternatives. As a couple, we knew that we were
capable of continuing to raise our child beyond the years when most
children passed the rites of passage and were presented with their first
school uniform. Our daughter was already showing signs of being a
beautiful violinist, having watched her daddy teach and play regularly,
as well as attending concerts and falling asleep while he rehearsed with
a band. Music seemed to be ingrained. As did reading, drawing, singing,
praying, playing, laughing and all the rest. We were enjoying each
other’s company so why should it be ruined by sending her off to be
raised by other people. We could do it. Our confidence was growing.
When it comes to
parenting, home schooling, education and learning, our society has a way
of communicating certain messages to us. ‘Best leave it to the experts’,
those who have studied and received recognition for their expertise. I
challenge this. I understand that the responsibility of being a parent
started at conception and continues for life. I am accountable for the
development of my child and see the eternal value of investing in her
character development. It is my privilege.
By far the greatest
challenges we reflected upon were those relating to the emotional and
spiritual aspects of a child’s development. Early separation from
parents seemed to create young people who were unable to communicate on
a deep level with their own families, especially their main carers. My
personal experiences of growing up, especially in the developmental
years of puberty, were not to be desired. I went through much of it
alone, locked in a world only known to myself. I would not want my child
to have to suffer in the same way.
So, we took the risk of
facing the wrath of family and friends who may well have abandoned us to
this foolish notion. Thankfully, we had no real outward rejection and
were able to move at our own pace, using wisdom and understanding to
raise our daughter. At times comments were made, albeit gently. We
seemed to be progressing in ways that people could observe externally,
and therefore experienced acceptance. For us, though, it was not the
external that counted so much. We were acting on principle and living in
faith.
On reflection, being united as a
couple, in our mission to follow this way of life, appears to be
essential. Party because of the financial, social, intellectual
and spiritual challenges that we were to face, one of us had to
choose to reduce our earning potential by staying home as the
main home educating parent. The commonly held concept of
escaping one’s own child to have ‘me time’ slowly faded away.
Perhaps it was just society’s creation, and wasn’t a way of life
we wanted to follow anyway. There were also the conversations
where we were reminded that it was ridiculous to deprive a child
of ‘group socialisation’ in a school context. We developed ways
of coping with these arguments, with sound, sometimes amusing,
evidence to the contrary.As
the days turned into weeks and the months into years, we no
longer feared the challenges. We know the path we have chosen is
not the easiest one, but it certainly is the best for us. It
means that we can still have a close relationship with our
daughter, she talks to us about all sorts of things. She shares
her thoughts, fears and concerns. She challenges us to grow ourselves in
ways we would not have imagined. She is not embarrassed by her parents
when some of her peers would rather cross the road than be seen with
their own flesh and blood.
Our choice has
limitations, but none that we feel restricts our family unity and
closeness or stops our daughter flourishing. Far from it! We have had
more freedom to choose how we do things. We can travel, spend time on
the things we value, complete tasks when they need completing and have
our own routines. Financially, all responsibilities are ours, as we do
not qualify for anything free. We’ve got over the unfairness of it all,
and just rejoice that we are not beholden to anyone regarding our
choices.
As parents, our own
highly structured, didactic schooling has had a lasting effect on us. We
still find it difficult to make certain decisions that our daughter is
extremely competent at making. We still find it hard to think for
ourselves, always looking for the external recognition that was our old
reward. One of the joys of enabling your own child to learn is that it
is possible for them to develop true self-discipline. Naturally, it
takes a lot of self-discipline on the part of the parents to do this.
Really knowing that a child can be trusted to act independently, make
good decisions and be safe is reward in itself.
Our personal lives are
the model that our children may choose to follow. They see and hear all
things and will either adopt them or develop them. Following an
alternative model of education, in choosing to home educate our
daughter, has not been easy. Neither has it be a burden. As life
continues, we expect good fruit, just as a farmer expects his crop to
emerge one day. The hard work of tilling the soil and planting the crop
will be forgotten. He will enjoy the harvest. Children are a heritage, a
joy, a blessing. I am very grateful for that.
Wife, Mother, Home
Educator, Teacher, Parent Coach, Street Pastor ..
01526 861107
smatthan@gmail.com
Anyone with questions on
home education (or anything else) are welcome to contact me personally.
Some relevant home
education in the UK links:
http://www.home-service.org/
http://www.educationeverywhere.co.uk/
http://www.education-otherwise.org/
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HEALTH
& BEAUTY
DAMAGED FEET
by G. A. Dacres
How beautiful are your
sandaled feet, cooed the wisest man who ever lived. (Songs of
Solomon. Ch. 7,V.I)
In Biblical homage,
the Israelite sovereign pondered over his unnamed beloved's
feet, shod in the
dreamiest shoes and lingered over each perfectly straight toe,
filbert nail and baby soft skin. King Solomon took the time to
verbalise the erotic appeal of a carefully pedicured foot. For a
moment in the act of seduction her feet were the centre of the
King's attention and were gorgeous enough to be caressed by his
lips.
And yet in the 21st
Century, feet are largely ignored by humanity, save the odd
outing by a arambunctious ex-princess who understands the
pleasure well cared for feet can bring.
Most peoples' interest begins and
ends in the relationship they have with their shoes. In other
words,
the average man or woman is only concerned about whether their
feet fit their shoes or not. Yet it is this obsession with
clothing the foot that has so troubled our 'pedal extremities'
for centuries.
Whilst the Creator has made in
the foot a biological, architectural success with 26 bones
articulating to carry a body three or four times around the
world in a lifetime, there exists a negative force within
humanity to abuse the feet.
A most obvious example of the negative
effect that clothing the foot can have is to look at the anthropological
evidence. The Chinese enjoyed a period of their history with the
fascination of binding the feet of their women. As children, high born
girls would be subject to a careful foot binding process which rendered
them helpless and was esteemed by their men on a par to virginity. The
arrival of Christianity helped enlighten the practitioners but not
before the effects of foot binding were documented. The bound foot was
waxen due to lack of sunlight, the toes would be found lying against the
heel and the whole foot incapable of carrying the woman. In fact these
women would have to be carried about even though they were born with
perfect feet. The damage was irreversible.
Leap forward into modern times and the
high heel, pointed toe box and slip on shoe performs the same job. The
wearer's toes twist unnaturally away from a foot flat position, the toes
become bunched together and to the delight of an onlooker, the buttocks
acquire an unmistakable tremor.
Wearing certain shoes eroticises feet,
and whilst this in itself is not unethical, the obsession with self and
the physical damage done to feet by constant use of crippling footwear
becomes questionable. Strip away the shoe and hosiery in any
congregation to reveal:
• Diseased decaying toenails, often
traumatised by tight toe box making them at risk to thickening and
subject to fungal infection that crumbles the nail plate away.
• Bunions, professionally known as
hallux valgus, sometimes inherited or congenital, but more often
caused by youthful enthusiasm for smug fitting shoes which refuse to
allow the developing feet to blossom, causing the forefoot to deform.
• Thick, impenetrable skin on heels,
soles and on the toe knuckles. Sufferers feel as if the skin is drawn
tight over their feet and it is rough snagging delicate hosiery.
• Corns, a devilish complaint, stabbing
away at each step forming just at the point of greatest pressure from a
shoe on the sole or a toe joint.
• Gait (walking) problems, lower back
pain and chronic foot ache that knocks the smile off a face.
The silent stealth like process of damage caused by footwear causes many
to overlook their feet until too late which is why good foot care should
be included in a healthy lifestyle.
• Select shoes that are wide enough for
the toes to wriggle in when done up. Normally these are lace-up but the
fashion should suit your needs—Velcro, t-bars are acceptable as long as
the length is right.
• Take care that your hosiery fits,
especially with babies and the young.
• Wash and moisturise your feet daily;
treat your feet like your face and attend to them specifically.
Cut toenails with care—across the nail as a general rule or follow the
curve of the nail stopping before the nail cornel". Filing is better
than cutting.
• Treat athlete's foot. Are you too old to bend or too young to care?
Visit a Health Professional Council (HPC) registered podiatrist or
chiropodist; the end results will help anyone appreciate their feet.
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INSPIRATION
And God
Waits
Finding time to
be with God can be quite a challenge! Whether you are single or
married, young or old, we all share the same struggle—to be
consistent in the time we spend with GOD.
God waits as we grapple with the
demands that keep us away from Him. He lingers as we jam-pack
our 24-hour day with nurturing our families, working, sleeping,
eating, exercising, keeping house, fulfilling church commitments
and finding time for ourselves. He tarries as we placate our
guilty hearts with thoughts that tomorrow, we will sit with God
in the freshness of a new day - tomorrow - tomorrow - and God
waits.
Why does God wait? Maybe because He is
hoping that one day we will slow down enough to understand the
truth of His words to us in Matt 6:33, “But seek first His
kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be given
to you as well”. Perhaps one day we will learn that time spent
with God is not just another demand, but a place where a loving
Father graciously gives us what we need to face each day, each
trial, each temptation He wants to give us His very best.
Recently I read a
translation of Matt 6:33. It said, “Steep your life in God
reality, God initiative, God provisions. Don’t worry about
missing out. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will
be met”. —The Message Bible. If we look at that translation
further, we will understand why God waits for us to give Him
some of our time.
Steep your life in God Reality
Steep is a strong, powerful word. The actual
word means to soak or to be soaked. We are to soak our lives in ‘God
reality’. How do we learn of ‘God reality’? It is by reading our Bible.
Everything that is written in God’s Word is to impact our world. We will
know what is important to God, to love what He values, and to live by
those values. It is all too easy to live our lives as if this world were
reality, not the world that God speaks of in the Bible. We can become so
busy achieving what the world sees as important or trying to find our
place in the world that we see, that we forget the real one —that one
cannot be seen with human eyes. We lose sight of God’s world that speaks
of the conflict between good and evil, truth and lies, eternal death or
forever life. Steep your life in God reality and the attractions of this
world will indeed be seen for what they are - distractions to take you
away from God.
Steep
your life in God initiative
Sensational and secure are the words that
spring to mind when I read this phrase. When we ask God to take the
initiative in our lives we are inviting him to take an active part in
leading, directing and guiding us. Never be hesitant in doing this for
it is God’s delight to direct us in
the best way for us.
Every time I place my key in the front door
of my house, I praise God that He asks us to steep our lives in His
initiatives. For 18 months we lived in a rented flat before we moved
into the house that is currently our home. During that time we had made
moves to purchase several houses only to lose them within weeks of
closing the deals to buy them. Finally I invited God to lead, to take
the initiative in our lives.
Steep your life in God provisions
This lets us off the hook in worrying about
anything! It means that we can hand over to God everything that is heavy
in our hearts—the big problems, the little ones, the insignificant ones
and the gigantic ones. We can place them in God’s heart and be confident
that He will provide the solutions that we long for. When we do this our
relationship with God will grow, as we will clearly see God taking an
active part in our lives. The most important thing is to depend upon Him
and expectantly wait for Him to work through the struggles that bring
strife into your life.
What will happen to us when we steep
ourselves in God’s reality, His initiatives, and His provisions? We will
live with peace, contentment and serenity in our hearts. How can I be
sure? God has a perfect track record as someone who keeps His word.
When God says that He will take care of
every concern of ours, He means it. In exchange for our time God will
give us a relationship with Him that will deepen our trust in Him.
However, knowing all that doesn’t
necessarily mean that we will spend time with God. Recently God has been
waiting for me to sit with Him. I haven’t intentionally ignored Him. In
fact I have been lonely for Him. But I know that while I have been
rushing around with life’s demands, a family and the pressures of a job
that has no clocking off time, God has been waiting.
A friend and I meet once a week to pray for
our children and our ministries in the churches that we work in. One of
my prayer requests has been that I would find time to be with God. That
prayer is being answered and it is good to sit with God again. If you
find it hard to spend time with God, you may find the following
suggestions helpful:
1. Find
a prayer partner and make your time with God a matter of prayer.
Very often we ask others to join with us
in prayer over Aunt Maud who is ill, or our son who needs a job, but
praying over our relationship with God is just as important. Pray that
your time with God will be satisfying, exciting and that through your
time together you will not only experience all that wants to give you
but that you will sincerely worship Him with your whole heart.
2. Be consistent.
Decide that every day you are going to spend
some time with God—even if it is only 10 minutes.
3. Have a plan as you read your Bible.
Take notes of what God is saying to you
through the passage you are reading.
4. Turn what you read into an expression of
praise or a prayer. For example:
“He counts the stars and assigns each a name”. — Psalm 147:4. The
Message. “Praise you God, that because you care enough to name a
star, care enough to bring light into my times of darkness”. “My
presence will go with you, and I will give you rest”.—Exodus 33:14
“Father in heaven, help me to experience your presence today in my life
and may you deposit your peace within the depths of my heart and mind,
so that I can know what it means to receive your rest. Amen.”
5. Read different versions of the Bible.
Each year choose a different
translation or even plan to read a particular book several times in
different versions. For example, if you are going through a tough time
the book of Philippians can really be inspiring; read it in different
versions until the words that you read become hope in your heart.
6. Ask for a blessing.
God yearns to do so much for you. Ask God to
bless you just as He did with Jabez in the Old Testament. Don’t forget
to ask God to make you a blessing to others too. Each day after your
time with God send a note of encouragement or blessings to someone else.
7. Our relationship with God is one of the
most important things in our lives.
You really can’t
afford to keep Him waiting anymore!
To enjoy more from Mary
read her book published by Autumn House, “God Comes to Visit”.
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MEN'S PAGE
Girls need
a Dad
Fathers influence daughters’ lifestyle
habits.
It’s long been
known that parents influence lifestyle choices that kids make.
But surprising new research has shown that fathers have a
considerable influence on their daughters’ diet and exercise
choices. Girls as young as age 5 to 7 had significantly higher
body mass indexes when they came from families whose parents
were below average in physical activity levels. Surprisingly,
when researchers investigated the girls’ levels
of physical activity, they found that girls’ preference for
exercise was most likely to be affected by their fathers.
Daughters whose fathers were active enjoyed exercise activities
more than those whose fathers were sedentary. Mothers’ activity
patterns were not associated with their daughters’ exercise
participation.Children who have fathers in their lives learn
better, have higher self-esteem and show fewer signs of
depression than children without fathers.
They also score higher on basic learning tests.
The study’s findings apply equally to boys and girls and to
black and white children.
Clearly a
father’s presence and involvement benefits the child’, says
Howard Dubowitz, MD, Pediatrics Professor at University of
Maryland’s School of Medicine. CHILDREN
WHO HAVE FATHERS IN THEIR LIVES LEARN BETTER, HAVE HIGHER SELF-ESTEEM
AND SHOW FEWER SIGNS OF DEPRESSION THAN CHILDREN WITHOUT FATHERS. Top of page |
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LIFESTYLE
Have Kids – Will Travel
by
Karen Holford
We were almost
ready to lock the boot and start the engine. The car was packed
high with camping gear. The roof box groaned with our suitcases,
and every spare gap in the car was packed with shoes, wellies,
buckets and spades, food for the journey and a few things to
keep three children under ten occupied for a week. We strapped
the children into the back of the car and continued to pack,
squeezing the mattresses and sleeping bags around their feet. We
slammed the car doors quickly to hold everything in place before
it all fell out again. I climbed into my seat and Bernie packed
the picnic carefully around my feet. Then he added bottles of
water, books to read, some umbrellas, the binoculars and the
hamster cage. He shut my door quickly, before all of that stuff
fell out, and we were ready for take off!
We drove and
drove. Then we stopped for a picnic, next to a park where the
children could run around and stretch their legs. We had to
unpack all the sleeping bags, mattresses and wellies to get the
children out. When we were ready to go again, it took another
half hour to put the mobile jigsaw back together.
The second half
of the journey wasn’t so smooth. The sun was shining and the
children were getting hot with all those sleeping bags around
their legs. They didn’t have the space to wriggle and they were
cross and fidgety from being so restricted. Then our daughter
was sick, all down the front of her dress, just before we were
about to visit her great-grandmother. We had to get all the
suitcases out of the roofbox to get her a new dress, but at
least she could have a bath before we set off again.
But we were all
grumpy now. We had listened to the story tape three times. I was
too tired to try and distract them with a scintillating game of
‘I Spy’ or the lively lyrics of ‘The Wheels on the Bus’, and we
got miserably lost because our map was so old it was missing
several major roads, and the page we needed most had been ripped
out years before.
We were about
two hours away from the campsite in North Wales when one son was
violently sick. With great artistry he managed to target every
sleeping bag in the car, a couple of pillows, and the inside of
his Dad’s left welly. He also managed to decorate his t-shirt,
shorts, socks and shoes. We had to stop, take everything out of
the back of the car, strip him, and wash him down with a bottle
of sparkling water. By this time we weren’t in the mood to empty
the roof box and find him some fresh clothes. At three he would
have to be content to spend the rest of our journey in his
underpants.
But his brother
wanted to stop and play. He was so fed up from being in the car
that he began to kick anything near his feet. Finally we found a
playground in the middle of a market town. It was a busy day and
there were people everywhere as we played on the swings and
slides with two kids in clothes and one who was wearing his
favourite Mickey Mouse underpants.
By the time we
arrived at the camp site we were tired, we all smelled sweaty
and vomity, our sleeping bags needed to be washed and it was
pouring with rain. A week later it was time to reverse the whole
procedure so we could get back home again.
Travelling with children is a challenge. A one hour trip is
likely to be fine if you can seat the children so they can’t
bash each other with their large plastic toys. Two hours and you
definitely need some distractions to keep them happy, like a
story tape, travel lotto game, or a granny who will sit in the
back with them and tell them endless stories of her childhood.
Three and you probably need a loo break/picnic/playground stop.
Four hours of travel and an in-car DVD player sounds like a
great idea. Five hours or more and it’s very tempting to give up
and stay at home, travel through the night, or even wonder if
it’s possible to FedEx the kids….Kids, did I say kids?! ….I
meant sleeping bags…Honest…
Years later we
have finally solved the problem of travelling with children…Let
them have their own car! Sounds so simple, when you think about
it. Just took us almost eighteen years to get them ready for the
experience!
Here are some of
the more useful ideas we collected along the way:
Don’t
over pack. You probably won’t need everything you think
you’ll need, and you’ll be safer and more comfortable.
Try to keep plenty of space around feet and legs so they
can stretch and move and keep the circulation going.
Dress children in layers so they can take things off if
they get hot. And don’t forget to pack an extra outfit
for each of you, in a bag that you can access easily, so
that no-one has to arrive in their underwear!
Keep
the ‘sick’ bags from any flights you make and pop them in car
seat pockets and glove compartments. Show your children how to
use them. One of our children was sick whilst trying to open the
bottom of the bag because they were so ill they didn’t notice
they were holding the bag upside down. When they finally opened
the bottom of the bag, it wasn’t a very effective shape any
more!
Try to come off
the road for a special break somewhere, not just a brief stop.
If you travel on A-roads rather than motorways there are usually
more places where you can stop when you need to, more places to
visit along the way, more playgrounds and easier diversions if
there is a hold up or accident. Explore the internet or tourist
information centres to find interesting things to visit along
the way so that your journey becomes a fun outing, too.
If you have a
meal along the way, avoid things that are very greasy or sugary,
which might make the children feel more nauseous. Fresh fruit
and vegetables, such as baked potatoes, can be filling and
nutritious.
Children always
get thirsty in the car, so make sure you have plenty of fluids
with you in non-spill containers, or use plain water. Be
prepared to make lots of toilet stops! Make a game out of
counting all the toilets along the journey so that you don’t
miss one that someone might need.
Older children
may like to help you plan the route, and help you navigate. They
can take it in turns to see where you are on the map and to tell
the family if any special things are coming up, like villages
with interesting names, rivers, railways, forests, etc.
Wrap tiny treats
in scraps of wrapping paper and give each child their own bag of
‘gifts’. Set a timer for thirty minutes, or even an hour. Then
let the children choose a treat every time the bell rings.
Choose cartons of fruit juice, tiny boxes of dried fruit, small
toys, comics, little plastic puzzles, boxes of crayons and
paper, play dough, a story cassette, etc. The timer helps to
spread the treats so that they don’t open everything at once.
Borrow story
cassettes/CDs from your local library, for a small fee, and
listen to these in the car, or choose a sing along tape/CD for
the whole family to enjoy. If children want to listen to
different things personal CD players with headphones can be
useful.
School age
children can play alphabet games. Look out of the car window to
find things beginning with each letter of the alphabet in turn.
Arch, bridge, car park, dog, etc.
The Rainbow Game
is a game where you have to find five things of each colour of
the rainbow. Start with red, then orange, yellow, green, blue,
purple and indigo, and find five items that are mostly the
selected colour, then move to the next colour.
Find pairs of
things. You make a pair when you can see only two of something
at the same time, such as two cars the same colour, two bridges,
two dogs, etc. If you can see more than two, then it’s not a
pair! See how many pairs you can find as a family.
Chain words are
words where the next word in the list must begin with the last
letter of the one before. Choose a topic, such as animals, and
take it in turns to name a creature that begins with the last
letter of the one just named. Eg. Penguin, NewT, TortoisE, ElK,
etc.
Give your
children imaginary ice creams. Each child describes their ideal
ice cream and imagines its size, flavour, toppings, sauces, etc.
After they have described the ice cream in as much detail as
possible, give them an imaginary cone to eat and see who can
make it last the longest!
Find some fiddly
little toys that can’t lose any bits, but which have good play
value, such as hand-held computer games, cube puzzles, square
slide puzzles, play screens, sticker boards, and other fidget
toys.
Where possible,
avoid competitive games, as someone will usually end up in
tears!
Bon Voyage! And
may all your journeys be happy ones!
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